Breakups are a strange phenomenon. The feelings that one experiences, in some cases minute to minute, can make you feel like a crazy person! One minute I would think, “I’m going to be okay, and this is the right decision”, and the next, start tearing up when a random memory came to mind. It was incredibly difficult to be strong at work, and solely focus on the task at hand; especially when I had so many sad thoughts running through my mind.
What if I don’t find anyone else? Living in a big city can mean it is difficult to meet people. I am more focused on my career right now, and going out tires me so! However, I trust that everything will fall into place, and that there is no need to worry. I will not go boyfriend hunting, and try to block all the thoughts about fun activities to do when you’re in a relationship or why I wish I was still in one. Being single is my current situation, and I’m going to make the best of it!
Steps I took to survive:
- First, I read “It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken” in order to reflect on the relationship, and understand the demise wasn’t something I did. I kept going over the past couple of months, trying to determine what happened, and how I could’ve acted differently. Thankfully, the book helped me to see things in a different light. Then, I read “Why Men Love Bitches”. I was hesitant to read this because of the title, but after learning that it’s about being in full control of your life, I was all in! Once you’ve got your ducks in a row, men will sense this and be attracted. This also helped me reflect on my last relationship, and qualities I would want to bring/not bring into a new one
- I booked my calendar for the next 4 months, refusing to sit around and think sad thoughts. I re-connected with friends and attended networking events. Also, I researched events in my city in various fields: Fashion, Finance, Tech, etc and attended them. Through the process, I met a lot of interesting people and learned new things. I wanted this stage in my life to be a virtuous cycle, and not a viscous one. Therefore, I put all of my energy into soaking up everything that NYC has to offer
- No contact with the Ex
- Refused to let myself only think of the good times in the relationship or hope to get back together
- Actively think of all the things I have to be thankful for, and not think of what I don’t have