How to get over a breakup

how to get over a broken heart

Breakups are a strange phenomenon. The feelings that one experiences, in some cases minute to minute, can make you feel like a crazy person! One minute I would think, “I’m going to be okay, and this is the right decision”, and the next, start tearing up when a random memory came to mind. It was incredibly difficult to be strong at work, and solely focus on the task at hand; especially when I had so many sad thoughts running through my mind.

What if I don’t find anyone else? Living in a big city can mean it is difficult to meet people. I am more focused on my career right now, and going out tires me so! However, I trust that everything will fall into place, and that there is no need to worry. I will not go boyfriend hunting, and try to block all the thoughts about fun activities to do when you’re in a relationship or why I wish I was still in one. Being single is my current situation, and I’m going to make the best of it!

Steps I took to survive:

First, I read “It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken” in order to reflect on the relationship, and understand the demise wasn’t something I did. I kept going over the past couple of months, trying to determine what happened, and how I could’ve acted differently. Thankfully, the book helped me to see things in a different light. Then, I read “Why Men Love Bitches”. I was hesitant to read this because of the title, but after learning that it’s about being in full control of your life, I was all in! Once you’ve got your ducks in a row, men will sense this and be attracted. This also helped me reflect on my last relationship, and qualities I would want to bring/not bring into a new one

I booked my calendar for the next 4 months, refusing to sit around and think sad thoughts. I re-connected with friends and attended networking events. Also, I researched events in my city in various fields: Fashion, Finance, Tech, etc and attended them. Through the process, I met a lot of interesting people and learned new things. I wanted this stage in my life to be a virtuous cycle, and not a viscous one. Therefore, I put all of my energy into soaking up everything that NYC has to offer
No contact with the Ex
Refused to let myself only think of the good times in the relationship or hope to get back together
Actively think of all the things I have to be thankful for, and not think of what I don’t have

Delia Folk